


Goodbye To A World

by lovetelit



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Spirited Away, Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovetelit/pseuds/lovetelit
Summary: What if Jongin had not remembered his origins?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title and any song lyric you may find in this is from Porter Robinson's Goodbye To A World. Original concept is not from me, also originally written for the forkadionly exchange. Enjoy!

It was an edge of a bathtub that Jongin couldn't get to. He rolled up his sleeves, sponge in hand and determination flared in his eyes. He could do it. 

The disgusted sound came from behind him. He knew it was Jongdae- who had chosen to clean the floor instead of the tub, knowing the monster before had been a smelly one. Jongin had grumbled, but once he was in the tub, cleaning it was all he could think of.

This was why he was born. Without this, he would be left hungry, or probably at the bottom of the ocean. He shivered, thinking of the clear water and how deep it was. He never wanted to be at the bottom of it.

Scrubbing vigorously, Jongin started to hum a tune. Dancing to every part that the song goes up, and scrubbing down to every part that flows down. Jongdae peeked from the edge of the tub. "What song are you singing?"

Jongin blinked, pondering. "I don't...actually know."

Jongdae pouted, disappearing again. This always happens; Jongin would sing an unknown song and Jongdae would curiously inquire, only to get disappointed because Jongin never knew what he was singing. It was peculiar, and sometimes Jongin wondered if he was really _that_ forgetful. He seemed to remember the things here just fine. 

He climbed off the tub once he was done, and went to the lever, raising a brow at Jongdae. The other male untied his hair and moved to the side, nodding his head in encouragement.

Jongin pulled, and the water whooshed through the walls, cleaning off the soap suds on the bronze tub and wooden floors. He stretched, hearing that satisfying crack, before walking with Jongdae, pulling the sleeves of his pink robe back down and chatting with the other about dinner. 

Another tune pops up in his head midway, and Jongin starts to hum again.

 

 

 

It's funny how simple things never get past Jongdae's eyes. He's a gossipmonger, leeching onto a passing story and whispering it to different ears. Jongin doesn't know why he does it. He assumes it's for the reaction he will get, but Jongdae had told him stories hold power. Whether it's an old folk tale or simple gossip, it would carry with you. Jongdae tells gossip to intimidate. _With a small body like mine, you need other things to provoke people with,_ he said.

Which is why Jongin becomes careful every Wednesday morning. Dawn is when they sleep, but Jongin gets up, quietly slipping away from his futon and lumping pillows together to make it seem like there's a figure beneath the blankets. He doesn't wear his pink robe, leaving with the simple pink pants and loose white singlet. The air is cold when he finally managed to tiptoe away from the sleeping workers. He stumbled to the back, past doors and finally ran to the garden beneath the bridge. 

He sees a familiar figure there, and he grins. "Kyungsoo!"

The dark-blue haired male turned. He had cut it, Jongin realised and it was terribly short. Jongin thought he still looked handsome somehow. Kyungsoo smiled at Jongin, frowning when he saw that he was only in a singlet. "Where's your robe? You'll get cold."

"Summer's coming Soo," Jongin murmured, pointing to the bush behind him. "See? The flowers are turning pink. The heatwave is approaching."

Kyungsoo plucked a flower off the bushes, tucking it in Jongin's hair, smiling fondly up at the other. His hands were cold, but not of the shocking kind, just very cooling, like water pooling around your feet on a hot day. That simple slight relief. Jongin closed his eyes, letting himself rest against that one hand, smiling.

The flowers here were transformable. Blue on winter, purple during spring, yellow when it's autumn, and pink for summer. Jongin swung Kyungsoo's hand in between them as they walked through the town. There was nothing. Monsters don't come alive until nighttime hits, so the town was silent.

There was something about the place though- maybe it was the differently shaped lanterns- of cylinders, squares, and some even being the shape of fishes and such. Or maybe it was the different colours of the buildings. The noodle shop was all dark wood, while the doriyaki store beside it had been painted over with lime green and pink. Contrast that was to be appreciated. 

They finally reached the small stream ahead of the town, and Jongin helped Kyungsoo jump on stones to get through the water, and then finally they reached the tower. The red paint looked as fresh as new, but Jongin knew the building had lasted over centuries. 

He never knew why he liked this place so much. Perhaps it was because Kyungsoo brought him here the first time he met him. Kyungsoo had come rushing to his side and dragging him to this tower, eyebrows furrowed in obvious worry. Jongin still didn't know what exactly Kyungsoo had been worried about, but when Jongin had gasped animatedly at the beautiful reflective colours of the stained glass window, Kyungsoo had slacked. There had been something in his expression back then - realisation? - the male just sat on the stone bench then, letting Jongin roam the area.

Now, Kyungsoo was on the bench too. Jongin went straight to the window, eyes shining in awe and mouth agape at the large work of art. The different colours meshed so well, and even with translucent material, the window ended up looking solid. Vibrant.

"I'll never get over how beautiful this place is," Jongin sighed, turning around to join Kyungsoo on the stone bench. He laid his head on the other's shoulder, grasping his wrist and playing with his fingers. His eyes always dart towards the dark doorway across the room, but he never dared step into it. "How was your night yesterday?"

Kyungsoo looked down at their hands, his index finger being pinched by Jongin's. "It was okay. I visited a secluded area to help the water flow again."

"Your job sounds so much better than mine."

Kyungsoo stiffened underneath him. "Perhaps. Yours is much more entertaining though."

"How so?" Jongin wondered, lifting his head and looking at Kyungsoo properly. "It's just preparing baths, then cleaning, then preparing baths again,"

"Yes, but you're never alone." Kyungsoo murmured. "I wonder why spirits always have to do their jobs alone, while monsters get to roam around together. It's almost unfair."

"I can go with you!" Jongin exclaimed, but stopped right after. "If it doesn't overlap my shift, that is."

Kyungsoo chuckled, ruffling his hair and kissing his nose. Jongin could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. "It's okay Jongin, you just do your job well. Your determination is enough to keep me going."

And through the lonely windows that is Kyungsoo's eyes, Jongin could see that slight spark. And that makes it enough for Jongin. Kyungsoo always makes it just enough.

 

 

 

He dreamt of rivers sometimes. Which was a weird thing to dream about, considering rivers were everywhere within the perimeter of the bathhouse. Yet he could see himself by a river in an unknown place. He was sitting at a dock of some sorts, legs dangling as he sang. The words were a blur, but the tune was ever so familiar. 

In fact, the song had become such a staple part in his daily life. Jongin stared at the glimmering water, sees the light reflected. It was comforting. Somehow the gleam made it look even more inviting.

Jongin lets his feet dip in, but he always wakes up right before he takes the plunge.

 

 

Nightfall was a time that Jongin gives himself a pep talk. He slides on his pink robe, tying it to the back and pats his cheeks repeatedly, telling himself he has the strength to carry on. 

Being an indecipherable monster takes its toll on Jongin's mind sometimes. He was teased about it in the earlier days, but now no one ever mentions it, and yet, Jongin still felt like an oddball. The strange one. 

A hand lifts his hair, tying it into a small ponytail at the back. He turned, smiling at Jongdae. The other male grinned back, tying his own hair and pulling Jongin downstairs. There were necessary preparations to be made, and Jongin rushed about bringing with him a cloth to sanitize the floors and sponges to clean the tub.

His first customer was a huge masked monster, horns the size of his two arms. He led the customer to his tub merrily, clipping on the tag to engage the herbal water that would flow through the walls.

A section of wall disconnected from the others, lowering itself down till it was perfectly aligned with the tub. A rope hung loosely and Jongin pulled on it, letting water stream through, waiting for the bath to fill up before directing the customer to go ahead and enter the water. The other maids would handle with personal service, but for now, Jongin's job was done.

He hopped to the kitchen, grabbing breakfast for both him and Jongdae, sitting at the edge of the whole bathhouse, handing the bowl of rice to Jongdae when he heard footsteps. 

They ate silently. Talking might distract them enough till they slack, so they didn't say anything while they ate. Jongdae's eyes were shining though, lips quirking more than usual. Jongin's nose wrinkled. "What's gotten you so happy?"

The other blinked, shaking his head slowly, even as his lips form another smile. "Nothing."

Jongdae was obviously lying, but Jongin didn't comment further, finishing up his bowl of rice and patting Jongdae on the back before running to the kitchen again. 

He took a deep inhale, turning to face the bathhouse and putting his best 'customer-service smile' on. 

Then, the cycle is repeated.

 

 

 

Jongin remembered birds chirping, the sun being too bright and him squinting up at the harsh glow, a wince on his face. He remembered tall trees, a checkered mat, and...a female face? Jongin couldn't remember who it was, but he seemed fond of the person, hands on her face. His hands were smaller too, like a child's. 

Wait, was this him as a child?

A voice called out to him, low and gruff. Turning around, Jongin saw an older man, smile making his eyes crinkle and hand ruffling his hair. Jongin paused, before sitting down, eating whatever they fed him. 

He woke up to the sound of a low thump. 

A low twang of _something_ resounded in his heart. He clutched his chest, taking deep breaths. He was feeling some type of longing, but he couldn't understand it at all. 

He sighed, standing from his futon and noticing that Jongdae wasn't in his futon either. The male looked around, searching for the other before tip-toeing past heads and sliding the door open quietly. In the corridor, Jongdae was sitting, his legs dangling in the air and his arms on the fence that surrounds the corridor. Jongin sat down on the wooden floor beside him, eyes on the small charm in Jongdae's hand. "What's that?"

The older blinked, looking at Jongin. His surprised expression told the younger that he hadn't heard Jongin coming at all, which was weird, considering how rickety and squeaky the floors were. He must have been really deep in thought.

"Just...a charm."

"Is it by a customer?" Jongin asked, watching in awe as the older's cheeks redden, his hands fumbling awkwardly. The flailing stopped, and the other sighed in defeat.

"Yes, it is." Jongdae replied, the words soft. The older looked back at the sky, and Jongin's eyes, too, trailed to the open blue. Their conversation stilled as he took in the wide sky, a strong and bright blue with white and puffy clouds drifting randomly. Beneath it laid the ocean. A train track ran through the middle, only seen when the train passes by, but otherwise covered by the water. Sometimes Jongin wondered what it's like to be down there, in the train, but usually he killed the thought just as quickly. 

"He's a traveller," Jongdae said suddenly. Jongin turned to look at him, but by the tight hold around the charm, the younger knew Jongdae was talking about _the_ customer. "Roamed worlds, and different universes. He brings back a small token for me every time."

Jongdae let the charm dangle by the keychain, hanging it off his index finger. "I wish he didn't have to go again."

Jongin blinked, eyes now solely on the older. "Do you...like him?"

Jongdae smiled, down at the water, before meeting Jongin's eyes slowly. "Haven't you heard Jongin? Feelings are nonexistent under Yubaaba's nose."

"Yes, but-"

"As long as I'm here, I don't like him."

"Then run." The younger quipped, staring intently at Jongdae's hardened eyes. "Run, be free, then like him. Tell him."

"It's not that easy Jongin." The other whispered, shaking his head. "Emotions are a mixture of good things and bad things. Filtering love out is just...a good decision."

"Why so?" Jongin questioned defiantly, gritting his teeth. It fazed him; how willingly the thick-headed male would succumb to Yubaaba's rules. It also annoyed him- how he'd let himself be controlled like this. Jongin thought of Kyungsoo, and how he would run away the first chance he got if it meant he could be with the other freely. "Between you and I- it's love as well. Why is that kind of love any different?"

The older didn't have an answer, but he bristled anyway. A train passed by down below, the thick chugging sound and hoot of the vehicle loud in the sudden still air. Jongdae pocketed his charm.

"It just is."

 

 

 

Wednesday morning came again. Jongin waited till every one was asleep, before he slipped away. Through staircases and small doors, Jongin sneaked away, running to the garden and grinning when he saw Kyungsoo. The flowers dropped dews, richly pink and vibrant. The strong floral scent was intoxicating, and Kyungsoo's midnight blue hair looked so pretty against the green and pink backdrop. 

Kyungsoo took his hand, and Jongin felt his heart thump, a small whisper of warmth in his ears and around his cheeks. Jongin tightened his hold in the older's hand, smiling down at the floor. 

They didn't talk much, simply gazing at the shops as per usual. The whole place was always so colourful. Jongin felt a song take control of his tongue, and he began to hum. His fingers skitter along his thighs, following the beat that Jongin could recall. His humming paused when words popped up in his mind.

" _Thank you, I'll say goodbye soon,_ " Jongin vocalised, eyes widening when it matched the tune he was humming seamlessly. " _Though it's the end of world, don't blame yourself, now._ "

Kyungsoo tilted his head questioningly, eyes shimmering in curiosity but also something else as Jongin continued to sing. 

"I remember the words." Jongin said softly, still breathy from the shock of his own realisation. "The songs, Kyungsoo! I remember the words!"

The other blinked, slowly straining a smile. Jongin wondered why he didn't look as happy as he had expected. "That's great Jongin."

"This is huge!" Jongin exclaimed, twirling and lifting Kyungsoo's hand above his head, which was pretty difficult considering their heights. "I can't believe I remembered. Maybe soon, I'll remember the other songs too,"

Kyungsoo was silent, but when Jongin turned to him, the other smiled. "I'm sure you will."

Jongin nodded, humming the same song again, but then singing along to words that came passing through his brain. His excitement was palpable, and soon he got Kyungsoo singing along with him too. The grin on his face had never been more filled with happiness than now. And he would like to think it was the same for Kyungsoo too as he neared Jongin, their foreheads brushing when the male finally stopped singing in tiredness. Their joy bounced off each other. 

_And if it's true, I will surround you, and give life to a world, that's our own._

 

 

 

If Jongin let his mind wander for too far, he'd start to think of how he didn't belong in the bathhouse. It took years of Jongdae saying that _he did belong_ , and _he was just like everyone else_ , for him to come to terms that maybe he was like them.

Deep down, he knew he wasn't. 

It wasn't even just that he didn't have a tattoo like the others, or that he didn't have any distinctive feature to tell anyone of what he was. It was also the mere feeling that somehow, he never seemed to do the things the others did. 

They find lizards delicious, while Jongin absolutely despises them. They would fight over each other for magic, but Jongin would rather stay at the sidelines.

He wondered if there was something wrong with him. If only he knew what he was exactly, maybe then, he'd accept things more readily.

He shook his head. This was why he never let his mind ponder. It fed him evilly sometimes. 

 

 

 

A yellow note. Sometimes Jongin's mind entered the realm of dreams and this would greet him. Constantly. Just like that river one.

This one began with a yellow note, one that Jongin never reads, but he could see the boy giving it to him. He was unfamiliar, teary-eyed as his lower lip jutted out. His hand offered the paper shakily. His eyes were small and slanted, his nose a little bit too big, and his skin very pale.

Jongin never knew the reason the boy was crying, nor why he would give him a note. These dreams were always quiet, neither of them saying anything, but Jongin knew the silence wasn't exactly a comfortable one.

It was more likely a sad one.

Jongin woke up.

 

 

 

 

It was familiar. 

Jongin jolted, straightening with wide eyes at the sound of someone humming. He almost slipped off the bathtub in his haste to get down. The tub that was his height- he would have suffered a huge bruise if he had fallen. 

Jongin bowed to the customer quickly. Luckily it was one of the more friendly monsters, shaped like a huge chick with round eyes. He scrambled off the booth, running to find where the humming was coming from. 

The sound stopped, and Jongin cursed, till he heard Jongdae's voice. "I have a friend who likes to sing the song you just did too."

"Really?" A voice replied, just as Jongin flicked the flap of that booth's curtains away with his arm. He was panting, and his eyes take in Jongdae's shocked expression, before trailing to the customer, who had an eyebrow raised. 

The customer was of the devil descendant, Jongin realised, the small red horns and fangs telling enough. He bowed, realising his mistake. "I'm sorry... but I couldn't help hearing what you were humming."

Jongdae was by his side in an instant. Jongin barely had the chance to even gauge the customer's reply. The older's hand was gripping his arm, and he was dragged outside forcefully, a grim tension settling on his lips. Before Jongdae could scold him though, the customer's voice stopped him. 

"Dae, it's okay," he said, and Jongin wondered briefly about the nickname given, but never actually let himself think about it for long. The customer stuck a hand out from behind the tub, smiling when Jongin rushed to take it. "I'm Minseok."

"Jongin," he replied, glancing at Jongdae's exasperated face, but when the customer had allowed Jongin to approach, the other couldn't really do anything. He back-pedalled, remembering the reason he came here in the first place. "The song you were humming,"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Where did you hear it?" Jongin asked, eager to others' eyes if the small little hops his feet made weren't enough indication. "How did you even know the song?"

Minseok pursed his lips, humming it again and eyes flitting to the ceiling, thinking. Jongin grew excited with every note that was similar to the one playing in Jongin's head. The devil finally seemed to remember, looking up at Jongin excitedly. "It was from the trains! You know the train that runs through the ocean?"

Jongin nodded, eyes shining as he eagerly looked into Minseok's eyes. "There was a shadowperson in the train who hummed this song all the way to Namu Hara,"

"Shadowperson? Namu Hara?" Jongin tilted his head at the new names, never having heard of it before.

"Yeah, you know those shadowpeople. They say those are the dead people from the human world, and Namu Hara was their afterlife."

"Dead people from the human world," Jongin muttered, fingers tightening around the hem of his robe. He barely ever heard about the human world. Somehow the topic was akin to a taboo at the bathhouse. All he knew was that they lived right across their world. The dark doorway in the red tower- through that was the human world.

A hand landed heavy on his head, forcing him to bow. He winced as Jongdae's sugary-sweet voice gritted out. "Thank you for answering his questions, Sir."

"Minseok."

"Sir." Jongdae repeated, and Jongin caught a glimpse of the amused smirk on Minseok's face. The other dragged Jongin out, pushing him against a wall right in front of the staircase that led to the dorms. "Are you serious Jongin? You can't just do that!"

"But he was singing the song no one knew Jongdae! He was singing _my_ song!"

"It doesn't matter!" Jongdae replied harshly. "You're lucky Kappa wasn't around to see that."

Jongin flinched at the mention of their floor manager. "I'm sorry."

Jongdae sighed, patting Jongin's hair softly, his earlier anger already forgotten. "What are you going to do? Now that you know where it's from?"

He kept silent. He'd have to ask Kyungsoo about it, and he gulped, swallowing a harsh lump in his throat. "I'll think about it."

 

 

 

Sometimes Jongin remembered small details. He could remember falling from a tub he was cleaning when he was a young child, Jongdae standing below and catching him just in time. Jongdae had looked the same as he does now. He never seemed to grow up, to be honest.

Then again, he was a monster, so it was expected. 

Then, he would remember letters floating, gripped in a huge and wrinkly hand, disappearing from sight before Jongin could even read them. Disappearing forever.

And his favourite memory would be those of Kyungsoo. He remembered a lot of Kyungsoo. 

There were the happy ones, where Kyungsoo would bring him to the pig sty, letting him feed the pigs and they'd then walk down to the stream, jumping on rocks without the feeling of risk.

There were the sad ones too, of course. Jongin's first conflicted feelings when Kyungsoo didn't seem to treat him the same way in front of the others the way he did when they were alone. He remembered being confused and sad, but then all of that disappearing with just one caress of his cheek.

He had looked up and saw Kyungsoo then, hair mussed and eyebrows furrowed in concern. He bumped their noses, before hugging Jongin tightly, giving him the reassurance to last a thousand years.

Jongin had hugged back just as firmly, and that's when the feeling first bloomed, Jongin thought. The small heartbeats and a strong surge of happiness that made him dazed more times than one during his job the next day. He had tripped over countless brooms and almost fell over into a tub, but it had all been worth it.

Remembering the faint scent of bamboo and the forest, the warmth around his arms and chest as Kyungsoo hugged him- that made it all worth it.

 

 

 

Wednesday couldn't come slower. Jongin was on the edge of his seat, running when he saw Kyungsoo and not even letting the other greet him, before dragging him to the town. He didn't wander around and appreciate their surroundings this time, going straight past the small stream, then to the tall red tower. 

Inside, he finally let a breath release. He didn't even realise he was shaking till Kyungsoo held his hands, tightly squeezing it so Jongin would look up. Their eyes met, and in those warm browns, Jongin found the comfort he needed. He took a deep breath. "I found someone who sang the song i sang- ok he didn't sing it, but he hummed it."

Kyungsoo raised a brow, clearly confused. "What?"

"You know the song I sang last week?" Jongin asked intently. Kyungsoo nodded, singing a few lines himself. Jongin grinned. "You remember."

"It's hard not to. Your voice keeps playing in my head," the older murmured, and Jongin could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. Even Kyungsoo had hints of pink at the edges of his ears. 

Jongin cleared his throat. "Anyway, a customer was humming to it!"

"And?"

"He told me he heard it in the trains. A shadowperson was humming it." Jongin spoke quickly, hopping slightly in his excitement. "We have to get on that train Kyungsoo. _We have to_."

"Jongin, that's impossible-"

"We can run away," Jongin cut in, "Yubaaba couldn't say anything right?"

"Who's going to cover for us then?"

"Jongdae?" Jongin asked hopefully. "We can go at a time like this. No one would notice!"

"And where do you presume we get the tickets?" Kyungsoo mused, raising an eyebrow. 

Jongin faltered at that, staring at he floor in thought as he bit his lip. "I don't...I don't know."

"Listen Jongin, it's a great idea, but it's not realistic."

The male kept silent, staring down at the stone floors before looking away and looking at the colours reflected on the birdbath. It was a mix of pinks, greens and yellows. He could feel and taste Kyungsoo's hesitance at this moment. He was probably thinking if it was the smartest move to ask anything at all.

Jongin decided to save him that torture. "I just want to know more about myself. I couldn't remember the songs at first. I don't even know how old I am- hell, _I don't even know who I am,_ "

It had always juggled in his head. Had he fallen as a kid? That bad till he couldn't even remember the slightest detail about anything at all? 

He heard a sigh, then a palm on his shoulder. Kyungsoo looked torn between two things. Jongin wasn't sure what those two things were. "I know how to get the tickets."

Jongin's eyes widened, and Kyungsoo was quick to add. "This is a risky thing we're doing. Meddling with the dead is never a good idea."

"We have to try though, don't we?" Jongin was hesitant, understandably so. Kyungsoo sighed, murmuring something about it being his fault, but nothing that was too clear.

"I'd go to the ends of the world for you Jongin. And if this is an end of a world for you, then I'd gladly follow."

 _End of a world for you_. Jongin tilted his head, slightly mystified at Kyungsoo's choice of words, but decided against inquiring. Questions can come next time. 

For now he swung both his arms around Kyungsoo's neck, smiling into the other's neck. Ends of the world. Jongin thought he would do the same for Kyungsoo, anytime, anywhere. 

 

 

 

The leaves fell, and the flowers bloomed to an even brighter pink. Jongin's hair had lengthened some, and his robe had gone through the second cycle wash. Wednesdays had been filled with Kyungsoo telling of his attempts at getting tickets, and checking Yubaaba's change of schedule.

They had to be strategic, he said, and Jongin followed. He didn't want to be caught way before finding that shadowperson after all.

"Can we enter the afterlife realm though?" Jongin had asked one Wednesday, when they sat at a field of grass, onigiri in hand. 

"I don't think I can," Kyungsoo had replied, looking away from Jongin's peering eyes. "It's not advised for you to enter it, but you can."

"Not advised...why not?" Jongin pressed. He had always been a curious person anyway. "And why only me? Why not you too? Is the afterlife picky?"

"It's not advised, unless you're dead. And you're not dead." Kyungsoo stated, munching on an onigiri particularly slowly. "I'm a river spirit. It's not a place for me."

Jongin pouted, but nodded nonetheless, smiling again when he thought about finding a source of his song. He nudged Kyungsoo happily, as he began the first few notes of another song. He doesn't remember the words for this one, so he just hummed.

Kyungsoo was looking at him. He could feel his stare. "You know...if you don't know the words, you can always make them up."

Jongin looked up, surprise flitting on his face. "Make up the words?"

"Yeah, sometimes things that are forgotten...it's so you could create something better with it." Kyungsoo cocked his head slightly, pondering a little. "You have the foundation, now make that thing your own."

"I'm not the best with words."

Kyungsoo blinked. "Find something that inspires you. The flowers, the bathhouse, the customers, your friends-"

"Or even you," Jongin added, smiling at Kyungsoo's dumbfounded face, as if he didn't even think of that possibility. His cheeks were red as he nodded, a lone finger scratching his cheek shyly.

"Yes, of me too." Kyungsoo muttered. "Anything that inspires you."

Jongin grinned. He could probably make a song about Kyungsoo's cheeks alone. He inspired Jongin plenty. 

"I'll try, then I can show you the next time we meet."

"Sounds good," Kyungsoo replied, giving a thumbs up as the blush in his cheeks slowly dissipated. Jongin could think of the first words he could add to his song already.

 

 

 

 

And Jongin built up words, like they were small blocks of wood. He'd pile them on each other, carefully, slowly. He hummed the tune a lot, repeating them in his head- when he bathes, while he's working. Then, he tried to add words that would complement the tune; all while thinking of Kyungsoo. 

"You want one?" Jongdae asked as he sat beside him on the floor by the fence. They were half naked around this time, and the cold wind bit at their skin, but neither wanted to put on more layers. The cold felt nice, not obnoxiously freezing their fingers off, but not exactly keeping them toasty either. 

Jongin glanced at the proffered dumpling, taking it and biting thoughtfully. Jongdae's tattoo of ice was clearly splayed across his back. "How do I even write a song about someone?"

"Oh? You're making a song?"

"Not making one, just writing lyrics for it." Jongin mumbled, moaning at the same time because the red bean paste inside the dumpling was _so_ good. 

"Ooh- who's this special someone?" Jongdae asked, bumping their shoulders as a cheeky grin began to form.

"No one important," Jongin replied, but he could feel the red flush on his cheeks. He was sure Jongdae could see it as well. The other didn't press on, much to Jongin's relief. They were quiet for a while, before Jongdae shifted slightly, facing the ocean now instead of Jongin. 

"Well, you could always write about how he makes you feel, how he looks, or even how special he is to you?" Jongdae quipped, eyes never straying from the bright moon in the sky. It was a full moon today, another end to a cycle before a new one begins. "Do you have anything so far?"

Jongin shook his head, sighing softly. "I'm totally clueless."

"You'll get there," Jongdae said, finishing his dumpling and ruffling Jongin's hair. "I'm off to bed now. Don't stay up too late."

Jongin nodded, looking back at the moon. It will disappear soon when dawn approaches. Then Kyungsoo would leave the building, off for his daily duties. He'd be in his dragon form though, all silver scales and teal details. 

Jongin slumped his head on his knees. He'll never be able to make up the lyrics in time, after all.

 

 

 

 

Wednesday came, and when Jongin ran down to meet Kyungsoo, the other held up two tickets, both in warm oranges and red stripes. Jongin blinked. "Wha-?"

"Train tickets!" Kyungsoo exclaimed, and when Jongin's face morphed from confusion to extreme joy, Kyungsoo grinned too. 

"You managed to get them!" Jongin cheered, letting his arms loop around the Kyungsoo's neck, tightly hugging him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Jongin." Kyungsoo patted his cheeks, smile endearing. They walked briskly down to the ocean, Jongin's steps extra light in his excitement. A boat was already waiting idly by the walls of the bathhouse when they reached the edge.

Jongin could barely keep his jitters at bay, the ticks in his feet obvious even to himself. He couldn't help it. This was such a new experience. He looked around in wonder, staring up the bathhouse building and smiling when he spotted the corridor to his dorm room.

"We will come back right?" 

Kyungsoo shrugged, rowing slowly to the station. He looked different today. Excited, but strongly hesitant. Jongin rested a hand on the other's shoulder. "If you're unsure about going with me, I can always go alone."

"I would never let you go alone Jongin, you know that."

"Then, we can just not go at all." 

Kyungsoo glanced at him sharply, mouth twisted in a frown. "Listen, I know how important this is to you, okay? As long as you're happy, then I am too."

His heart thumped a faster beat. _I love you_ , he thought, but never let it slip past his lips. He didn't have to. Kyungsoo already knew, if his slight smile when he looked at Jongin was anything to go by. 

Silent confessions; Jongin thought that was the best thing about being meant to be.

 

 

 

It was silent in the train. There were the random chugs and mild tinkers of metal, but mostly it was dead quiet. Jongin let his eyes wander, taking in the headless train conductor, the piles of bags in one corner, the warm and somehow somber setting. Orange tones with lights that flicker low and red velvet seats that were comfortable, yet the air tinged with a mood that didn't suit the homey and welcoming feel the train itself radiated.

Jongin looked around at the other passengers. He realised the atmosphere was so somber because of them. They were all shadowpeople- faceless, dark- nothing but a silhouette. They all had their heads hung low, and Jongin bit his lip. Was passing on that sad of a deal?

Passing on would mean leaving loved ones though, which Jongin assumed was the reason most of them were sad. Maybe.

Kyungsoo was beside him, but the other never said a word. He merely stared out the window, taking in the passing landscape with a neutral expression.

If Jongin looked out, he would see all the passing houses, all small and with sloped roofs. He didn't know why their architecture made his heart ache, just the slightest bit.

It was nearing evening when the shadowpeople started getting up, grabbing their bags. Jongin followed, gesturing to Kyungsoo excitedly, although the blue-haired male look anything but eager; a complete contrast to Jongin. 

He hopped off the train, watching it chug away before turning to the station. The other passengers were already taking the steps that would lead them down the tunnel, but Jongin stayed, at least for a little while longer. _Namu Hara_ , it stated on a signboard. It was a place with low clouds, Jongin learned. And just as he took a step, ready to wander around the station before actually taking the stairs and entering the tunnel, a voice teased his ears. He stopped, eyes widening as he turned. 

What he saw made him slack slightly in his steps. In front of him was a silhouette of a young boy, sitting idly on one of the metal benches prepared. He was humming that exact same song Jongin had always hummed, and his clothes were _so, so familiar_.

Green striped tee and khaki pants, white socks with small sport shoes. Jongin's heart thumped faster as he neared the boy. "Excuse me?"

The boy stopped his humming, head turning from the floor to face Jongin. He couldn't see the visage of the other, but something made him _remember_. Something triggered his memories and everything suddenly rushed past him. 

Moving from his hometown, losing his parents in the midst of wandering around town, meeting Kyungsoo for the first time, forgetting his parents and saying the wrong things. 

Mistakes, after mistakes, after mistakes.

Jongin gasped, dropping on his knees. Kyungsoo rushed to his side, worriedly asking if he was okay but all he could focus on was the boy. The shadowboy continued humming, offering his palm slowly. Jongin quietly took it, letting himself be led into the tunnel. 

"Jongin! Wait! I can't go in!" 

Jongin looked back, seeing Kyungsoo pressed against an invisible barrier at the front of the tunnel. He smiled slowly, trying to reassure the other, even though he was feeling terrified himself. "It's okay, I'll be back before you know it."

"And if you aren't?"

"Then maybe it's better that way."

Kyungsoo looked like he wanted to say something else, but the child was already tugging eagerly at Jongin's hand, and he waved at Kyungsoo with a sheepish grin, following the boy.

The tunnel was dark, but soon a door loomed before them, all dark wood. It had no knobs, and no knocker at all, yet the boy opened it somehow, beckoning him to go in. "Aren't you following me?" Jongin asked when the boy just paused by the door, neither entering nor leaving.

He shook his head, closing the door with a click once Jongin was fully inside. He blinked, looking around curiously at the black and white filtering everything. He was in between two tall hedges, leaves and moss all losing its green colour. He glanced down at his hands, alarmed to find them in black and white too. He gulped, scraping the last of his courage and continuing to walk, eyes always alert and darting. 

When the hedge finally cleared, he was greeted by a pond, the moon high above. Jongin tilted his head, nearing the water cautiously. It was a muddy terrain suddenly, the pond empty of anything. He looked into it, seeing that slight sheen casted by the moon. 

Jongin crouched, touching the water slightly. The drop trickled upwards instead of downwards, Jongin found, letting out a soft yelp in shock. In a completely unnatural way, it trailed up his skin. Jongin tried to shake it off, but it was futile. 

In his attempts of removing that small water droplet, his feet slipped and he dropped into the pond. He began to swim upwards, but once he opened his eyes, he stopped. Ahead of him was a vision- a mirage of some sorts. Was this magic? His pulse quickened, trying to hold his breath as he watched at the images in front of him.

An older woman packing the last of her bags into a small car. A man- her husband?- jingled the keys, calling out in an echoing voice. "Jongin! Time to leave!"

Jongin almost let out a breath of air at that, but he held his hand firmly in front of his mouth, keeping it all in. A rush of garbles, then another shout. " _Kim Jongin!_ "

 _Kim Jongin_. The name bounced off the walls in his brain, before the young boy that led him here came into view, clad in the same clothes and humming that same song, this time with a decipherable face and distinctive features.

The boy looked like him.

"Jongin, what took you so long?"

"I had to say goodbye to the river at the back of our house." The boy said with a pout. Echoes repeat his words.

The woman rolled her eyes, sighing. "It's just a river Jongin,"

"It's the river that listens to my songs Mom."

The mother- _his mother_ \- shook her head, getting into the car. The little boy, Jongin, _himself_ , got in the car too after a last glimpse at whatever it was behind him. He whispered, _"Goodbye to one world I guess."_

Jongin released a breath, floating up and heaving as he came out from the water. He coughed slightly, clawing up the edge. On the ground, he let himself think, feeling his chest tighten at the sudden influx of memories. He was...he was a _human_ all along. Not a monster, but a human.

Jongin got up, running away from the pond and rushing through the hedge. 

He _had_ to go back to Kyungsoo.

The door opened, and the boy was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, looking up when Jongin stopped by him. He held out something in his hand. A note. A yellow note.

_Have fun at your new place Jongin! Don't forget us! We'll play again one day._

The back of the note held a name, _Sehun_. He glanced up at the shadowboy, smiling warmly at it. "Thank you, Jongin."

The boy bowed his head, and Jongin followed. Ash began to touch his face and he looked up curiously, wondering where the debris was coming from. 

The shadowboy was disappearing slowly, his head turning to ash even as he kept his head bowed. Slowly his whole body changed to ashes, wafting around the air and then disappearing. The air smelled like incense and fire. Jongin clasped his hands tightly together, prayer whispered silently. 

It wasn't exactly a death, Jongin thought, but it was definitely the end of a chapter.

 

 

 

Jongin walked up the stairs hurriedly, taking two steps at a time and panting when he reached up. Kyungsoo was at the station, pacing back and forth in panic. 

"Kyungsoo!" He called, hugging the other as soon as they were near enough. Kyungsoo's arms were tight around him, and it comforted him. He didn't understand the flurry of emotions in his mind right now, but being with Kyungsoo helped sort it out, even by a little. He buried his face into Kyungsoo's robe before stepping back a little. "I'm a human."

Kyungsoo's eyes glimmered, smiling and releasing a sigh of relief, almost like Jongin broke a curse. Maybe he did. "I'm glad you finally found out. I've always wanted to tell you, but..."

"You don't have to explain Soo," He murmured, smiling down at the other, his dimples deepening. "I'm just glad I know now."

"I'm so glad too." Kyungsoo said, but then took Jongin's hands in his, tightly holding them. "In that case, we have to hurry! There's still a few hours before the sun goes down."

"Where are we going?"

Kyungsoo raised a brow, "Bringing you back to the human world, of course."

"And leave this place?" Jongin asked, eyes widening. "Leave the bathhouse?"

The river spirit paused, looking down as he nodded. Jongin thought he could detect a sad sigh. "Your stay was way overdue anyway."

"What about you? Jongdae?"

Kyungsoo didn't show a notch of grief in his face, but his eyes told the truth. The hidden feelings tucked in secret. "There's a cycle to being soulmates Jongin. I'll always meet you again, here, there- everywhere."

"So we're meant to be?"

Kyungsoo nodded, his smile wider now, reflecting Jongin's. "Don't you feel it every time we're together?" 

"I do, it's just-" his words stop, Kyungsoo's lips on his cheek making him breathless. It was such a small gesture, but it was enough to make him blush, his smile now infected with even more genuine joy. 

"Meant to be," Kyungsoo repeated, biting his lips as it quirked shyly. 

"Meant to be," Jongin repeated, voice soft and hazy, before he too pecked Kyungsoo on his cheek.

 

 

 

Jongin managed to beg one final night at the bathhouse, and although Kyungsoo didn't like the idea of delaying things, he agreed. They went back to pretending everything was normal, but Jongin constantly chanted his full name in his head.

_Kim Jongin, Kim Jongin, Kim Jongin._

He _does_ belong somewhere after all.

He went about his duties, the thought of his departure making him excited, but at the same time, he wanted this night to last forever.

Lantern lights that illuminate the whole bathhouse, brass bathtubs, polished wooden floors, the calming sound of pouring water, tinkling laughters from every booth, bustling busyness that had somehow managed to make him feel that he belonged. Even in a place where he was the odd one out. The black cat amongst the white ones. He couldn't imagine a life without the bathhouse, and in his deepest thoughts, he didn't want to.

But he knew; this really wasn't the place he was supposed to be at. This had been a fateful accident, and it had been a mistake. A beautiful one- but still an err in nature nonetheless.

He smiled at Jongdae as they ate together that night, staring at every little detail. The way his lips curl at the corners like a true feline, the crinkles by his eyes and nose as he laughed, and even his loud voice turning to a low husky one when Jongin suddenly blurted, "I love you."

Jongdae quirked a brow, laughing slightly at the suddenness, but then easing into a fond smile. "I love you too Jongin. You're like a brother to me."

A brother. Jongdae had certainly served that role. From teaching Jongin the basic bits of cleaning the bathhouse, to protecting him from the jeers of the other monsters, and even tying up his hair when he had been too tired to so.

Jongin blinked back the prickling tears, gulping down the last of his rice before getting up and running away with a shout. "It's your turn to clean the bowls!"

He ignored Jongdae's protests, favouring to slide the door behind him quickly, resting against the wall outside and wiping at his tears. He bit his lower lip. Jongdae will be the one person he'll miss the most.

And that night, he slid into Jongdae's futon, slinging his arm around the other's waist and breathing the strong scent of green tea. Jongdae's signature smell. 

"Why are you so touchy feely today?"

Jongin shook his head into Jongdae's back. His voice was hoarse to even his own ears. "It's nothing."

Jongdae turned around, caressing his cheeks as he forced Jongin to look at him. "What's up?"

Jongin stayed silent, looking into Jongdae's concerned eyes. "One day I'll disappear and I just want you to know that you were the best thing that ever happened to me in this bathhouse."

Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed, but before he could say anything, Jongin cut in. "Don't ask anything, just say okay."

"...okay," Jongdae finally replied, after a long pause of confusion. He tightly hugged Jongin's head into his chest. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm always here for you."

"Thanks Jongdae." _I love you_.

 

 

 

Dawn came and he slipped out, staring one last time at everything. He caressed Jongdae's cheeks, pulling out a random paper and writing a message on it with clumsy hands. 

_Thank you for everything. You mean the world to me, every single one that exists._

His steps were slow as they walked down the secret path, getting out of the small door by the side and meeting Kyungsoo in the middle again.

The flowers were pink mixed with yellows. Autumn was approaching. Jongin sighed.

_Thank you, I'll say goodbye soon._

"I didn't even manage to finish writing the song." Jongin said, walking side by side with Kyungsoo. The other chuckled, shaking his head, letting it go. 

"You'll pass it to me one day. I'm sure."

Jongin hesitantly smiled. "I wish I had your confidence."

"What's meant to be, will be." Kyungsoo replied, intertwining their fingers and jumping on the stones, passing the steady river stream. The red tower loomed. "Everything that happens in your life is there to teach you a lesson, remember that."

Jongin nodded. He savoured the last view of the grass fields, the colourful town, the high clouds. 

_Though it's the end of the world, don't blame yourself, now_.

The stone benches were as they were last time. The lights that reflect were still pink, yellow and green. Yet somehow they all seemed so different. The stopped before a dark doorway. The tunnel.

"This is where it ends." Jongin whispered, turning to Kyungsoo, holding back his tears. "Thank you, for everything."

Kyunsgoo grinned. It was obvious he was trying to keep a happy face to compensate for Jongin's clearly grim mood. "It's okay, remember what I said Jongin. We're meant to be."

Jongin nodded, gulping down his sobs. Even so, his voice still hitched. "I'll still see you, right?"

"Right," Kyungsoo whispered, tiptoeing to place a kiss on Jongin's forehead, a firm yet chaste one. Jongin brushed their foreheads one last time, closing his eyes to take in this final moment, before he turned. 

"Don't look back." Kyungsoo whispered, and Jongin gripped the last bits of his willpower and set out with a straight face, head faced forward. He stepped into the tunnel, the darkness slowly fading, fading, and the only sound he could hear were his own footsteps. It was nerve-wrecking. What would greet him across from here?

A source of light appeared. Jongin stepped into it, squinting his eye. The first thing he saw were trees. This was a forest of some sorts. Jongin finally let his shoulders droop. 

There was a kappa statue right at the front, and a pouch by its side. He picked it up curiously. It smelled of bamboo, just like Kyungsoo.

Then, he finally let himself turn, but he couldn't see anything beneath the tunnel. He gripped the pouch tightly, before stepping past the Kappa statue. 

Goodbye to another world, he guessed.

_And if it's true,_

_I will surround you,_

_and give life to a world,_

_that's our own._

**Author's Note:**

> any criticism is appreciated, and so on ❤️
> 
> thank you for reading :^>


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